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Once upon a time, George Clooney held a huge fundraiser for Joe Biden. And if you don’t know who was there or where it was, Joe Biden felt the same. He’s basically a heartbeat away from being on the receiving end of a seance. But that was so last month. This week, Clooney took a break from making movies you’ll never see, to writing an op-ed for The New York Times. Because, as you know, celebs are brilliant when it comes to politics. But I guess this guy was busy. The title of the piece? “I Love Joe Biden. But We Need a New Nominee,” which speaks to the Gutfeld rule of getting dumped. Everything before the word “but” means nothing.
In the op-ed, Clooney starts by saying he considers Biden a friend who believes in him, believes in his morals, believes if you hold a mirror under Joe’s nose, it’ll fog up in 4-6 weeks. But why is it everyone who’s about to dump Joe starts with sentimental accolades about what a wonderful man he is? I’m sorry guys, would a wonderful man say this?
JOE BIDEN: Too much of what’s happening in our country today is not normal. Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic. The Republican Party today is dominated, driven and intimidated by Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans. And that is a threat to this country.
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See, the dementia just peeled away the facade of empathy Joe. The lie that he was a kind old man seeking unity. Nope. He was always a self-serving pr— who won’t let go of the wheel even if he drives the car off the cliff. So now, Clooney puts the knife into his old buddy, and instead of blood, there was dust. Clooney writes “the Joe Biden I was with three weeks ago at the fundraiser was not the Joe big f**** deal Biden of 2010.
He wasn’t even the Biden of 2020. He was the same man we all witnessed at the debate.” Well, I got news for you, George. Joe wasn’t a big f**** deal in 2010 unless the “F” stood for flatulent. And while he may have beaten Medicare and oil cancer, he got his a** kicked by teleprompters, microphones, and gravity. But it’s nice of Clooney to finally speak up.
George Clooney in front of the Hollywood sign (Getty Images)
But this is Hollywood once again, where Harvey Weinstein trapped more women on couches than a roof collapse at Raymour and Flanigan’s. And yet, Hollywood clammed up for decades. Clooney is only speaking up now because he ran it by Obama, who approved. The Biden campaign downplayed the piece, stressing the president stayed at the fundraiser three hours longer than Clooney, even though for two of those hours, Joe was just lost in the coat room. Of course, we knew for years what Clooney is just saying now, Biden isn’t just a vegetable, he’s the whole farmer’s market.
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But the floodgates have opened. Big shot Hollywood donors distancing themselves from Biden like he’s Kevin Spacey at the Boy Scout jamboree. Rob Reiner says we need “someone younger to fight back.” Well, that narrows it down to just about everyone on Earth. But it’s as if Biden suddenly got too old just a few weeks ago. Which shows you how detached these idiots are from real life. If you don’t experience crime, inflation, homelessness, or illegals, do you think you’re really gonna care that your guy is clinically dead? But even Biden-backer Michael Douglas is telling the heifers on ‘The View’ that he’s “deeply, deeply concerned.”
MICHAEL DOUGLAS: I’m deeply, deeply concerned. I mean, especially it’s difficult because the Democrats have a big bench. I mean, they got a lot of heavy hitters. And I do worry with, like the debate, the difficulty with the debate. I mean, it was relatively simple. I mean, you just first of all, you should just tell the president, stand up, put a little makeup on him, you know, for the debate, which should help him and then where to look.
Looks like a Vegas magician. Sorry to break it to you, Mike. No amount of makeup could add moisture to that corpse. You’ve heard the phrase “polishing a turd”? With Biden, it’s polishing a fossilized turd from the Jurassic era. And there’s plenty more where that came from. Ari Emanuel, Reed Hastings, Abigail Disney, Barry Diller, pretty much everybody who’s been with Joe in the last four years is suddenly telling the truth about him.
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President Joe Biden speaks during a campaign event at the Martin Luther King Recreation Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US, on Thursday, April 18, 2024. (Hannah Beier/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
Like Chuck Todd, who now says he’s known about Biden’s condition for years. If only he knew a journalist who could have warned us about it. Instead, the media called us fascist for noticing Joe’s The Walking Dead without the walking. And it only took one bad debate. Well, that and 4,000 verbal gaffes, tripping over sand bags, falling off a bike, somersaulting down flights of stairs and cutting the cheese in front of the Duchess of Cornwall. Does it matter what Hollywood says about Biden? Not really. But now it’s about the donors.
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So they’re abandoning ship like it’s the Titanic and Joe’s the iceberg, but with a lower body temperature. Remember, these are actors who get paid to say what’s written for them. They may play heroes, but when it’s time to take a stand in real life, they wait for actual brave people to step forward first. They may get cast as leads in Hollywood, but in real life, they’re extras.